all my bags are packed

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I didn’t blog last few weeks. This week I’m writing about the fact I don’t really know what to blog about this week. Yoga has become a habit. It’s like brushing your teeth – you can wax lyrical about how lovely it is to run your tongue over your smooth, shiny incisors when such a chore is well overdue, but doing it everyday is something most of us barely even have to think about. I suppose in some ways, I’m starting to take yoga for granted, because it has simply become part of who I am.

When I can get out of my head, and when I feel like the person I want to be, things can be simple

When I travelled overseas for three months on elective, one of the most simple yet important things I learned was that there is very little that can’t be at least improved with a pair of fresh knickers, a clean face and fresh breath. I’ve kept it in my arsenal since for when things get a little hectic. Now, I have new ammunition for when anxiety strikes. I fight off residual stress with a few deep breaths. I stretch for at least ten minutes when I get home in the evening. I think about where my body is positioned in space. Perhaps most importantly, is that all this self-regard has not been at all selfish. Obviously a huge part of dedicating myself to a regular practice is to create some amount of self improvement, but the ability to truly look after myself, and having an hour to appreciate that, means I have opened up the love and light to share my positive energy with others. When I can get out of my head, and when I feel like the person I want to be, things can be as simple as smiling at a stranger to pick myself up. Beyond this, I am better at taking responsibility for how I feel.

Even when things feel entirely out of my control, I can recognise that it is up to me to choose how I react to them

I’ve long since known that the majority of people are not actively nasty as a whole and therefore, when I am upset by the actions of others, it is up to me to react accordingly. It has been so important in all of my relationships to realise that when the other person does “X” and I feel “unattractive, worthless, like a bad person” as a consequence – it is not a direct association. Having the ability to mindfully tease out that in fact, I’m feeling a certain way because I haven’t had enough sleep, am frustrated at work, etc. etc. and I have then projected the negativity onto an interpretation of how someone else has treated me. Even when things feel entirely out of my control, I can recognise that it is up to me to choose how I react to them.

Essentially for me, mindfulness involves teasing out the flow-chart in my mind of how intrinsically linked my thoughts, feelings and behaviours are. I am not one to underestimate the power of my mind over my entire being, and through accepting this, I have been able to let go of the control old, unhealthy thought patterns have had over my life. My three month membership is up now, and I leave for four weeks of European summer in five days. I’m not afraid of the “what if” of finishing, more excited to continue to adapt yoga to being a part of my everyday life. The last few months of my life have carried me in an internal trajectory that is more positive than I could ever have imagined.

 

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